Saturday, June 24, 2006

it's the little things.....

This morning I was talking to Jimmy and out of the blue he told me how much he loved me, praised my wifey-ness, and said he was so happy that I was his for all time.
It was so unexpected and sponteneous. He shared with me something he had never told me before. Some of ya'll maybe familiar with our romance, but for those who aren't...
Jimmy and I dated for six months when we were 20 and 21. One day, he suddenly dumped me to get married! It was such an awful time for me. Talk about taking the wind out of the sails....
Anyway, he married and within two years I married too. The restaurant scene in Austin is pretty small and incestuous, so I heard things about him from time to time, but I was doing my own thing and didn't give him much thought. About four years into his marriage, things between them fell apart. They divorced and he left the country.
In 1998, the chef/owner of the restaurant where we met and worked together, had plans to put a new super-chic restaurant together and called him back to be his sous chef. He also put feelers out for me. My marriage was not going too great and I thought working outside of my husband's and my business might be good for us so I decided to take the job, totally unaware that Jimmy would be a part of the new venture. What a shocker to find him in the kitchen that first day! It was awkward at first, though more for him than for me. I was glad to be working with him and the other guys again. It seemed like old times. At some point, all the kitchen workers were out together after work one night and Jimmy took me aside and finally formally apologized for his behavior years ago. I was glad. It needed to be done, for his sake more than mine by that point.
A year passed, and I decided to leave my then-husband. I told no one at work, except my chef because I needed to make some changes in my work schedule before I took any action. I left my then-husband and about four months later Jimmy asked me out. It was de ja vu all over again. We got pregnant and married in August 2000. What a whirlwind.
Anyway, the reason I shared all that actually does have a point. What he shared with me today was that back in 1998, shortly after we started working together again I ran into him and his roomate out somewhere one night. Apparently after I left he turned to his roomate and said, "Why didn't I stay with Susan? If I had married her I'd be so happy. I'd have everything I want."
He had never told me this story before and after he did today he said, "And you know what? I was right. I am so happy and I have everything I want."
Thanks for letting me share this little love interlude. I was so touched by his revelation and affection. I am telling ya'll about it for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because it was so sweet and I wanted to brag on him a little bit. And secondly, to maybe encourage someone who might have a dh or SO who is pretty reserved. Keep at your relationship, strive to do the next right thing rather than sucumbing to the temptation to go into retaliation mode. You never know what he's got cooking and when the day comes that he lets you in or lets some of that slow-cooked love out, everything else that has happened before falls away.
Stay the course. The payday is so worth it.

Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you.
Accept instruction from his mouth and lay up his words in your heart.
If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored.
Job 22:21-23


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You get pregnant and then get married and then quote the bible and preach? Please spare us.

7:18:00 PM  
Blogger trace said...

anonymous, and you come in here spouting accusations and condemnation without even leaving your name. typical.

friend. thank you so much for sharing your story. you have no idea how it blessed me today. so often, i get caught up in the what ifs--both past regrets and future hopes--that i forget to have faith. and isn't that what it all boils down to. thanks for adding a dash of hope to my day.

p.s. dang, i am annoyed at anonymous.

12:34:00 PM  
Blogger JK said...

It disappoints me that you (the previous anonymous commenter) would use the bible to condemn someone without knowing the situation. Do you remember this part: "Let you who is without sin cast the first stone." I would be very very careful about making comments like yours. Words wound deeply and the Bible also tells us that we ourselves will be judged by how we judge others. God bless you.

4:22:00 PM  
Blogger supposedly susan said...

Thanks trace.
Anonymous' comments sting, but I guess they are fair. It's true, I have had many HUGE moral lapses. I have never tried to hide that. The cool thing is that the God I serve is blinded to those, thanks to the mercy of His grace, by virtue of His Son's sacrifice. Thank goodness being a Christian does not require perfection. I have been blessed to recognize what Perfection Is, and through repentence, I am pardoned from all they ways l fall short of it, on a daily basis.
I do find it somewhat unbelievable that anyone, indoctrinated or not, could read my blog and still surmise that I am pious or "holier-than-thou." I am a work in progress. Nothing more. I am not a contender for sainthood...
Keep fighting the good fight all.

7:43:00 PM  
Blogger supposedly susan said...

To JK,
God bless you.

7:49:00 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I am just a blogger passing through because your blog was recommended. And, I have to agree with the others that I am not at all happy with anonymous either. For, when I first read your blog a sense of peace washed over me as if, God brought me to your blog which I am sure in His soveriegnty He did. Thank you so much for telling your story. Without giving you the gritty details of my personal life I must say that I needed to be restored and reminded that with my life focused on my king, pain is worth it and I need to stay the course. God used you to minister to me. I thank God that He works everything together for good for those who love him. Thank You for being a willing vessel to help others.

11:00:00 PM  
Blogger supposedly susan said...

To Sarah..
All glory to HIM.
" on toward the goal to win the prize."
Phillipians 3:12-15
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

11:19:00 PM  

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