Tuesday, July 24, 2007

So "IT" finally happened


One of my daughter's asked me if she had autism.

We were walking back from the market when we were on vacation last week in CA and I saw a sign on a building that read "Center for Autism Research," and I declared I wanted to go see what that was about.

It came so totally out of the blue, Abby's question that is. I just casually answered, "Yes," and told her it was no biggie; it just meant that her brain worked differently than most people's. Then she asked if her twin had autism too and I answered that she did, but hers was a little different and had a different name, "Asperger's Syndrome." She didn't ask for any further explanation at the time so I did not explore her thoughts. Her sis said nothing about it at all (HIGHLY unusual).

Today, we were at a drugstore picking up some meds for dh who is away for the summer and she asked about it again. I still remained truthful, but general in my answers, although this time I added that we knew lots of kids who had autism or AS and I named a few of them. Then she asked me if dh or myself had it, and I was kind of stumped as to how to answer because I know that if I were assessed for ASD when I was a child, I would undoubtedly been dx'd with AS, but obviously in Podunk, Texas 1973 no such thing was going to happen. So I told her, as generally as possible that her dad had some other things about his brain that made it unique (he has ADHD that was undiagnosed until he was an adult) and that no one knew much about autism when mommy was little, but that I probably had the same kind that sis does.

She didn't have anything further to say on the matter after that and again, her sis said nothing.

I have known this day would come. They are too high-functioning and immersed in the vanilla world for these questions not to be asked, but I had counted on a few more years.

I am feeling pretty unnerved and absolutely unsure as to how to proceed.

Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
James 1:4-6

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