Say it ain't so

Here is what has been going on with us. An update, I guess.
We are finally concluding that maybe more is going on with Emma Jean than we first thought. That perhaps we did not, in fact, "dodge a bullet." (Statistically, it is pretty unlikely that in twins, even fraternal, one would be dx'd on the spectrum and the other would be "typical.") It breaks me up to think that we may have been sacrificing Emma Jean's needs for Abby's, but I think we might have. Until now, just today actually, I could not bear to think that both of them were on the spectrum. (It's all about me right?) And Abby's issues were far more crippling to her as an individual and to us as a family unit, at least at the time we began this journey. As Abby has improved and gained so much ground, the gaps in Emma Jean's development have become more apparant. While she has improved in some areas, the gulf between Emma Jean and her "vanilla" peers is ever widening.
Today, I concluded that she may need some ABA. That she might need to be formally evaluated. Jimmy agrees. I was so scared to talk to him about it. At this point, neither my dh nor I feel like we need a label, per se. I would be surprised if she met the criteria for an autism dx. If she does, it is incredible justhow differently it has presented between the two. But, it is all about getting the help she needs. So...
I don't know. This is a conclusion I have really just come to in the last day. I've been praying for some clarity and for help on how to be a better parent to Emma Jean specifically. An encounter with a SLP with a background in ABA, who knew nothing of Abby or what therapies we have her in, (she was supposed to be a sub for Emma Jean's regular SLP..(there's a PTL in there I'll name later) said a few things that really brought it all together.
I don't know but, "If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck..."

Anyway.....that's the news from the front.