Just to Make Sure

a poem by Sally Meyer


Just To Make Sure


He was perfect
thats what they told me
so I unwrapped him gently
counted ten fingers
ten little toes. . . .
just to be sure.

When I brought him home
I rocked him softly,
told him who he would be
when he grew up
and I wrote it down
just to make sure.

As he grew his smile
used to light up the room
and his eyes were warm
like a grey dove, and I
whispered how much I loved him
and I told him again
just to make sure.

When they told me he was different
that he would always be so,
I cried in the dark hours
turned my face to the wall.
I called his name in the morning
and touched his face softly
just to make sure.


They told me he was perfect
that day when I bore him,
I counted his toes, fingers
and whispered his name,
But isn't it so that all children are perfect?
for in them lies the innocence and
purity of heart.
And we who can raise them are so simply blessed.
Each moment is treasured, each day a sweet gift.
So each day that God' grants me,
I hold my son closely, laugh with him, cry for him
and whisper a prayer.
And I tell him I love him and that he is perfect


just to make sure.

c. sally meyer 2001

tomorrow is the day

Abby "graduates." She will be officially released from ABA after tomorrow.
I have my last team meeting for her in the morning, then they are having a little ceremony for her at 3pm followed by a holiday party for all the "students." I am so touched by their efforts for her. My mom is coming and her other Granny is too. Jimmy is bringing her some roses, her favorite, (pink, of course). I'll be there too with Sister Beans.
I tell ya'll, I have been so emotional all week. I cannot believe that she is really on her way now. I am so overcome with gratitude and humbled by my Lord's awesome power, grace, and love. When I think back to where we were a year ago I am just amazed. Amazed. She began ABA a shell of a girl. A screaming, self-injurious, terrified little mess in a pink heart shirt. She couldn't really talk. She had some nouns, but that was it. Rare were smiles and hugs and NO kisses period. Now...she is a delight. So smart and affectionate. Talks too much! LOL. I am so proud of her. She has worked very, very hard.
I cannot believe we have climbed this mountain. There will be many more of course, she's not recovered. Yet.
I have to be truthful though. I am pretty scared about what happens now. Maybe not "scared" exactly, but anxious. I know God's got her covered, but I read enough and talk to enough other parents to know that there is sometimes regression and it's scary to think about losing such hard-fought ground. ABA has worked miracles in our lives and I am nervous to leave it behind. I mean we will still use the principles daily, but she will no longer be in a one: one enviornment; protected by the Behavioral Innovations bubble. Where screaming raging fits are so passe, no one even blinks. Where random tics and outbursts are the norm and obsessive behaviors deriguer. I know it's time, but I am still nervous. And happy and sad.
I think I am also still mouring the fact that we are not quite done with ABA yet. One year ago I never thought Beans would be a patient. It is still really difficult thing for me. I just really needed her to be okay. I am also wary of her prognosis. Lori has given a very different perspective as to what we should expect for her. Slow and laborious progress has been projected.
But, I will not dwell on that tonight or tomorrow. Tomorrow, we celebrate!
Hooray for Abby! Preschool here we come!

open letter to Cecil (St. Cecil) at Luby's Corporation....

Cecil at Luby's Corporation


Thank you. Thank you for going the extra mile for our family.
When we found out that Abby's diet was going to be so restricted, it was very sad for us. After three long years of isolation due to her inability to interact with the world at large, we had finally had a huge breakthough and could go out to eat as a family and Luby's was the spot. Bless her heart, when we told her that we couldn't go there anymore, she was a trouper, but the first time we drove past she said, "Daddy, I miss going to Luby's with you."
When I wrote a note at your website inquiring about how foods were prepared, I never expected to hear from you with such alacrity, much less with such personal interest. So few individuals, and certainly large corporations in business today seem to care one bit about service or their customers and here you are, offering to make some plain chicken and rice for Abby. And even Jello made with splenda, just for her. Thank you.
I will be calling the area manager whose name you gave me. I can't wait for Jimmy to surprise Abby with a date at her favorite place.
Thank you so much and I will be telling everyone I know that Luby's knows how to take care of people. Even the little ones.